All I want in this life, to have time and energy to think about and play aoc competitively, which I love really. Of course I would like to achieve other things such as harmony with girlfriend, family, to make own family, learn quantumphycics and other things. Sadly my work takes out too much of me and also a bit old for this game.
My average rating is above 2k in this always tired way. Because I dont want to waste my little free time to be relaxed at work, I am only used to sleep 6 hours or less. So only good enough to be 2,1k level at sunday, when I can sleep twice 8 hours before. If i have some free days and I am able to practise some games every day, at the end I can be better than 2,1k. Sometimes, when i am really relaxed, I can beat much better players as well, but it rarely happens.
Slowness does not only mean being slow with my hands, however in nearly all of my long lost games, the size of my recorded games are 10-20 KB lower than my opponents one. In long macro games, its really important.
On the other hand, if you can not play constantly and think about strategies, you will forget the 'context'. Even if you only stop for a week. I cannot explain it, its not short- or long-term memory, they are several pattern about stragegies. And if you miss a longer period or even only be tired, you cannot load them fast enoguh or noway. And if you are tired, you take your decision slower than your opponent, or take worse decision under the same time so you solve situations worse (and/or with missclicks).
Just to compare, check the size of this game from both POV, and try to find out how cloud win:http://www.voobly.com/match/view/6387067
However its not that important in games before 40 min. But if you are always killed in long macro games, you wont enjoy this disadvantage always.
I decided already, that I just want to enjoy playing, and accept that I am only rarely good enough to beat 2,3-4k players, or even 2,1k+s (and its not a random game I win, on that certain day or period, I beat many good players). It does not worked, I could not accept it. My expectaction level was higher than my normal level, I tried to reduce it... In this way aoc is only making me sad and nervous. Cannot accept that some guys are young enough and have good family background to play constantly without stressing about life, living, working. Its simply not fair, ok life is not fair. I want to end suffering, Ill stop this game. Perhaps I will watch some recorded games, or play some tgs, but will never again play seriously 1v1s.